While talking about death is very hard, a time exists in life when we all will have to talk about death. Learning vocabulary related to death can help you express yourself more clearly and also help you console others. It’s a sensitive topic, so we’ll approach it respectfully and focus on vocabulary and common expressions. We’ll avoid overly graphic details and focus on general concepts. At the end, you can read some example conversations for the benefit of teachers and students.
Basic vocabulary:
- Bereavement: The state of grieving after a loss. Example: Bereavement can be a long and difficult process.
- Casket/coffin: The rectangular box used to hold a body for a funeral or cremation. Example: Her casket was made of beautiful mahogany wood.
- Cemetery/graveyard: A place where dead people are buried. Example: We visited the cemetery to lay flowers on his grave.
- Cremation: A process that burns the body and turns it into ashes. Example: We chose to cremate our dog after he died. / My grandfather was cremated (verb).
- Crematorium: A place or business that cremates animals or humans.
- Dead: No longer living. Example: The tree is dead.
- Death: The end of life. Example: The death of a loved one is always difficult.
- Deceased: A formal word for someone who has died. Often used in legal contexts or obituaries. Example: The deceased left a will.
- Dying: The process of approaching death. Example: He was dying peacefully in his sleep.
- Embalm: To prepare a body for burial in order to slow down decay. Example: The funeral home will embalm the body to help preserve it for the funeral.
- Eulogy: A speech delivered at the funeral that often give a memorial of the person who passed away. Example: His brother gave a beautiful eulogy.
- Funeral: A ceremony held to remember and honor a deceased person. Example: The funeral will be held on Tuesday.
- Funeral home/funeral parlor: The place where the body is prepared for a funeral. Example: We will go to the funeral home tonight for visitation.
- Gone: A simple and gentle way to refer to someone who has died. Example: She’s gone now.
- Grave/burial site: A place in a cemetery where a body is buried. Example: She placed a wreath on his grave.
- Grief: The emotional suffering caused by a loss. Example: She felt deep grief after her mother’s death.
- Hearse: The vehicle that transports the casket. Example: We followed the hearse to the graveyard.
- Left us: A phrase used to say someone has passed away or died. Example: Papa left us during the night. He’s no longer suffering.
- Mourning: The expression of grief, often through rituals or ceremonies. Example: The family is in mourning.
- Pallbearers: People who are charged with taking the casket to the final burial location. Example: I was a pallbearer at my neighbor’s funeral.
- Passed away: A polite and common euphemism for death. Example: My grandfather passed away last year.
- Survivors: Those who are still alive. This can be of family or related to a catastrophic event such as an earthquake. Examples: He was survived by his wife and three children. / There were no survivors in the car wreck. / We should see if we can get government assistance for the hurricane survivors.
- Tombstone/gravestone/headstone: A stone marker placed on a grave. Example: The tombstone had his name and dates inscribed on it.
- Urn: A vessel made of wood, metal, glass, or some other material used to hold the ashes of a person or animal that has been cremated. Example: When I received my dog Maximus back from the crematorium, he came in a beautiful urn made of wood with a tree of life.
- Wake: A gathering where people come together to honor and remember someone who has died, usually before the funeral. The body will made available for viewing so family and friends can say goodbye, share memories, or offer support to one another. The term comes from the old practice of “watching” or “waking” over the body, sometimes to ensure the person was truly dead (in case they woke up!). Example: We shared a lot of memories of our dear friend at his wake.
Common expressions
- Final resting place: A synonym used for “cemetery” or a place where the ashes may be scattered after cremation. Example: This is my dad’s final resting place.
- Gone but not forgotten: A way of saying that someone is still remembered.
- To be gone to a better place: Expressing a belief in an afterlife.
- To cope with loss: To try to deal with the emotions caused by a death.
- To grieve over someone: To feel sadness because of someone’s death.
- To lose someone: To experience the death of someone you care about.
- In memory of: Used to honor a deceased person.
- To pass away: Euphemism for to die.
- To rest in peace (RIP): A common inscription on tombstones.
Expressions commonly used to say to someone dealing with death
- I am sorry for your loss.
- I can’t imagine what you’re going through.
- I’m here for you.
- I share in your sorrow.
- My thoughts are with you during this difficult time.
- Please accept my sincerest/deepest condolences.
- Take all the time you need to grieve.
- You have my deepest sympathy.
- You’re in my prayers/heart.
- Wishing you peace and strength.
These can be adapted based on your relationship with the person or their beliefs. Sometimes, just listening or being present can mean as much as words.
Discussing death with sensitivity
When discussing death, it’s important to:
- Be prepared for emotional responses: Some people may have personal experiences with death that make the topic difficult.
- Be respectful and understanding: Recognize that this is a sensitive topic.
- Consider cultural differences: Different cultures have different customs and beliefs surrounding death. Be mindful of these differences.
- Focus on general concepts: Avoid graphic details or personal opinions.
- Offer support: Let others know that it’s okay to express their feelings.
- Use clear and simple language: Avoid complex or abstract vocabulary.
Example conversations
Conversation 1: Basic – Talking about a pet’s death
- Teacher: “My cat, Whiskers, passed away last week. I was very sad.”
- Student 1: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”
- Teacher: “Thank you. He was very old. We buried him in the garden.”
- Student 2: “My dog died last year. I miss him very much.”
- Teacher: “It’s hard to lose a pet. They’re part of the family.”
Conversation 2: Intermediate – Discussing a grandparent’s death
- Student: “My grandmother passed away last month. The funeral was very sad.”
- Teacher: “I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sure it was a difficult time for your family.”
- Student: “Yes, but we were all together. We shared stories about her life. It was nice to remember her.”
- Teacher: “That sounds like a beautiful way to honor her memory.”
Conversation 3: Intermediate – Talking about grief
- Teacher: “Grief is a natural emotion after someone dies. It’s okay to feel sad or angry.”
- Student 1: “How long does grief last?”
- Teacher: “It’s different for everyone. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve. It takes time.”
- Student 2: “Some people say it’s important to talk about your feelings.”
- Teacher: “That’s good advice. Talking to family, friends, or a counselor can help.”
Conversation 4: Advanced – Discussing cultural differences
- Teacher: “Different cultures have different ways of mourning the dead. In some cultures, they have big celebrations.”
- Student 1: “In my culture, we light candles and pray for the deceased.”
- Student 2: “I’ve heard that in some cultures, they believe the spirit of the person stays with the family for a while.”
- Teacher: “That’s interesting. It’s important to respect the different traditions and beliefs people have about death.”
Conversation 5: Advanced – Dealing with loss
- Student: “I’m having trouble coping with the loss of my friend. I feel very lost.”
- Teacher: “That’s understandable. Losing a friend is very painful. Have you tried talking to anyone about it?”
- Student: “Yes, my family has been very supportive. But I still feel so sad.”
- Teacher: “Grief can be a long journey. Be patient with yourself. It’s okay to feel sad. It’s also important to remember the good times you shared with your friend.”
Conversation 6: Dealing with a sensitive question from a student
- Student: “Teacher, what happens after we die?”
- Teacher: “That’s a very big question, and one that people have been asking for centuries. Different people have different beliefs about what happens after death. Some people believe in an afterlife, while others believe that death is the end of our existence. These are personal beliefs, and it’s important to respect everyone’s perspective. In this class, we can talk about the language we use to discuss death, but I can’t answer that question for you. It’s something you may explore and answer for yourself.”
These conversations would of course differ based upon the relationship you have with others or students.
